Bikini Cult Island IV: Curse of the Were-Stripper, Unrated Edition

[micro_icarus]

Who: Chika Daimon, Edward Elric, Lambdadelta, Lucca Ashtear, Lucia Nanami, Meiling Hong, Pidonus Marasia, Soma Cruz, Sonic the Hedgehog, Urd.
What: The final confrontation with the EVIL BIKINI CULT!
Where: An ancient temple on a tropical island in a lightly inhabited universe.
When: Right now!
Warnings: Violence, Blood, Monsters, Partial Nudity, Disturbing Imagery



Following the cultists through the jungle led to an ancient temple built into the side of the singular mountain poking out of the center of the island. Ominous chanting echoed from within, as well as...something very large breathing. There aren't any guards outside, and getting inside is laughably easy.

The walls of the temple eventually give way from carefully fitted stone bricks to natural cave walls, before eventually leading the way into a massive cavern. The walls are covered in strange runes, but are lucky to get a second glance considering what's going on in the middle. A raised platform dominates the center of the cavern. It is ringed by chanting cultists, but they are ALSO unlikely to get a second chance. What was actually commanding the attention of the room was Urd. She looked dazed and confused, and was strapped to a ceremonial altar while a robed figure was carefully draining blood from a tiny cut on her arm into a bowl, and the reason she was commanding so much goddamn attention was that she was wearing a dress of fabric so sheer it was basically completely transparent, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. There's no sign of Ed, but there's a couple of side caverns with worn foot paths leading to them. The cultists next to Urd are talking.

"Careful. Don't forget what happened LAST time."
"How can I? We still need to feed that damn thing."
"Just, be careful."
"I AM!"

Comments

[mistressurd]

Urd looked down at the natives near her. "Little people, mind getting me some sake? I have a raging headache..."

[oneshot_bang]

"Uh... I think she's awake."

"Impossible. If she were awake she'd be screaming her head off like the others."

"No, dude, I'm serious. She's awake! And she wants booze."

"...Typical spring breaker. Quiet girl, you'll feel nice and sleepy soon enough!"

[mistressurd]

Urd looks at the 2 robed guys. "Spring break? Nah, that is way to calm for me. I prefer mardi Gra."

Urd looked at the outfit she is currently wearing. "... ok, who changed me while I wasn't looking?"

[oneshot_bang]

The taller of the robed guys glares at his partner.

"I get the feeling that this girl isn't the kind of virgin we're looking for."

"Hey, don't look at me! Zarpherous the Cloistered grabbed her because she was the hottest one! It was either her or Four-Eyes, and come ON..."

[mistressurd]

Urd just laughed. "Me, a virgin? With a body like this? You got to be kidding."

"... not that I'm easy or anything. Anyway, who changed me when they knocked me out with Enka?"

[oneshot_bang]

"Dammit! You hear that? Next time, CHECK!"

"But that always makes me feel so awkward... hey... why is she still lucid, anyway? She should have bled out five minutes ago--"

They seem to be ignoring her questions about who her wardrobe tech for the evening was. Either that or they're just not listening. The one bleeding her pulls the chalice back and clamps a hand on her wrist while still glaring at his buddy.

"Well it doesn't matter NOW, does it? And whatever this Enka stuff is, this wasn't it!" He says down to Urd venomously. "It was Sacred Bloodflower Venom, made from the blooms of blood that tie our world with the hidden and damned! Which you... seem to have worked out of your system a lot faster than you should have." His indignance deflates. "What ARE you?"

[mistressurd]

Urd sighed. "You could have just asked. Better then you trying to fumble around down there trying to find out."

Urd raised a finger, and the strap on the opposite hand that was cut undoes it self quickly. Urd looked back at the man so close to her. "Hmm, I never heard of such a flower. I'll have to get some for some future potions. Now, as for who I am, allow me to show you."

Her other hand shoots out and grabs the man's crotch hard. her other straps undo as she starts to raise into the air, her body all a glow.

"I am Urd, and I am a Goddess" She grabbed even harder on his crotch. "And it's not very polite to strip down a sleeping one."

[oneshot_bang]

The unfortunate man lets out a noise that would render bats deaf. He buckles and the other practically dives for the chalice as his grip wavers, then scrambles away from his buddy.

"D-don't worry brother! Your sacrifice will not be in vain!" He quickly yelps before succumbing to self-preservation and scrambling with the cup through the far doors with a thud.

"You bastaaaaard!" Is the squeaky response.

[mistressurd]

Urd gave the guy another squeeze, and pushed him to the ground. She floated put at stepped on his chest. "Now, care to explain what is going on here. If you don't, well..."

She moved her foot over and held it right above his groin. "I'm going to have to squash some grapes."

[oneshot_bang]

"This is the night of the Rite of Rending!" He squeaks, doubled over. "Or at least it's one of them, aaaagh... The lifeblood of a virgin is used to tear open the veil between worlds and bring forth the unholy beasts of the next to do our bidding!"

How dramatic. It seems he's falling back on rote memorization to deal with the blinding pain.

[mistressurd]

Urd looked down on the poor man. "And why would you want to do that? A guy like you should be out on the town, picking up girls and having a good time."

Urd then sighed. "And Why when people need virgin blood they go for the woman right away? I bet over half this cult are virgins."

[micro_icarus]

In one of the side caverns, a grim tale of vengeance could be read out of the current situation. In the corner of the chamber was a cage made out of iron bars driven into the floor and ceiling. Ed's jacket was in tatters on the floor, and Ed himself, still missing his automail arm, was in the middle of the room holding one of the cultists in a headlock while shaking him and shouting.

"FIRST YOU KIDNAP DRUG ME UP JUST BEFORE I GET A CHANCE TO FINALLY MAKE IT ALL THE WAY WITH MY GIRLFRIEND! THEN YOU TOSS ME IN THIS SHITTY CELL, WHICH BY THE WAY SMELLS LIKE PEE, AND THEN AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH YOU HAD TO RUIN MY JACKET! I LIKED THAT JACKET YOU JACKASS! SO TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!"

There were two other cultists lying unconscious on the floor next to the cage, and a transmutation circle scratched into the floor underneath the bars which had been alchemized into a perfectly circular hole.

[have_hat_will_travel]

"... Note to self. Stealth route not necessary when seeking to rescue Edward Elric from epically idiotic cult."

From a shadowy corner near the door, Pidonus came into visibility.

"They're targeting virgins... So they kidnapped you and Urd and left Lucca behind. Yeah."

[micro_icarus]

Ed rounded on the voice out of the shadowy corner but stopped himself before he actually hurled the cultist he had trapped at Pidonus, "Oh, sorry. Yeah these guys don't really seem like they know what they're doing."

He looked away, embarrassed, "Guess you probably heard all of that, huh?"

[have_hat_will_travel]

"Under. Statement."

Pidonus sighed. "Lucca's got your Automail, by the way. Also... Sorry for having to break the promise to keep the ring on. She was panicking, I used a suggestion to get her to cool. Nothing more."

Reaching for one of the swords, she focused a little. "... Let's focus on getting you out of here and back to base, first. We can come back for mop-up once you're back at full strength."